Daddy Dexter & the Dark, Delightful Playdate
by El Penguino
Summary: Dexter thinks Astor and Cody are ready and takes them to their first kill. Rated T for now. Mostly book-based
1. Chapter 1

**My very first Dexter fic. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it! :D**

Richard Gearhardt, abductor of young children. He picks them up at the park telling them if they come with him he'd give them a puppy. How cliché. It disgusts me that someone could actually be that stupid to use that sort of technique. It also disgusts me that it's children; however I have a feeling that natural selection will soon eliminate him. And by natural selection I mean by my kill tools. If I were capable of human emotions the anticipation of having him on a table with the pictures of his young victims would be comparable to that of a young boy anxiously awaiting the arrival of none other than Santa Clause himself.

Astor and Cody have come a long way. After a year of serial killer apprenticeship I think they are ready for their first kill. Under adult supervision of course. Wouldn't want them to poke an eye out when it's not necessary. Dark Daddy Dexter will now have to successors to carry on the Code of Harry. My phone then goes off during my daydreaming.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Dexter, it's Rita. I need you to pick up some milk on your way home."

Ah, exit Dark Daddy Dexter stage left and enter Domesticated Daddy Dexter stage right.

"Ok, need anything else?"

"Yeah, if you wouldn't mind could you pick up some tampons for me?"

The age old tampon question. A tried and true test of normal human relationships. Too bad Harry never gave me some guidance on this one, but how hard can it be?

"Yeah, sure. Is that it?" I ask.

"Nope, that's it. Thank you, Dexter. See you when you get home." she says just as she hangs up the phone.

Observation on Richard Gearhardt is complete, for the time being at least, now off to the grocery store.

I walk in feeling refreshed as the AC in the store cools me off from the hot Miami sun. I head over to get the milk first because alphabetically it comes first on the list and then head over to the tampons.

One of man's greatest mysteries stands before me. So many different boxes, so many different kinds. What I don't get is the difference between the types. Is normal not as good quality-wise as super? I decide to give Deb a call.

"Hey, Dex. What's up?" she asks.

"Um Rita sent me to the store to get tampons for her and I don't know what to get."

"No fucking way, Dex. My big brother out buying fucking tampons for his girlfriend."

"Are you going to help me, or should I just hang up the phone?"

"Get the normal ones. I still can't fucking believe this."

"Thanks, Deb." I say as I hang up the phone.

I grab a box of the normal ones, while doing so I get weird looks from the five women standing next to me. Too bad they don't fit The Code. I smile at them and walk away. I decide self-check out is the way to go. That way I won't get the looks again. I pay for my groceries and get into my SUV.

When I arrive at Rita's I can smell her Pot Roast almost immediately when I open the door. She greets me, kisses me, and takes the bag from my hands. I watch as she puts the milk in the fridge and takes out the box of tampons.

"You got just the ones I wanted, Dex. How did you know?"

I stood there awkwardly and smiled, "Lucky guess." I replied. She smiled back at me and went to put them in the bathroom.

I heard the back door open and in came my two protégées yelling and screaming at each other. Each had squirt guns and were shooting at one another. Most would see this as innocent fun, but I know all too well they were practicing. Proving to Dark Daddy Dexter that they were ready to join in on the late-night fun. Little do they know, that tomorrow night's the night. We couldn't do it tonight because it's a school night. I've already arranged it wit Rita. I told her that I was going to give her the night off from her motherly duties tomorrow night and have a hotel room and massage already arranged for her.

"Dexter, guess what?" said Cody.

"What?" I asked.

"I got to cut open a frog today at school! I got to see its insides and everything!"

Cody really had opened up to me during his training. Usually a quiet and reserved boy, but when killing came up he was a very different brought back memories to me of Steve Gonzales, a junior high bully and my would-be first victim, but unfortunately for me we were interrupted. I wonder what happened to him. Maybe he fits The Code now.

"That's awesome, Cody."

Rita walked back into the hallway on her way to the kitchen to finish her pot roast.

"He's been waiting all afternoon to tell you that, Dexter. Who knows maybe we'll have a surgeon in the family." she said excitedly with her sweet smile on her face.

Rita would choose the innocent explanation. I guess you could call what Cody will do surgery; reverse surgery. Instead of saving lives he will be taking them.

"So, Dexter do you want to tell them the news?" asked Rita.

"Sure." I answer in mock-excitement. "Your mom isn't going to be here tomorrow night. It's going to be just the three of us."

I see the look of pure elation in both Astor and Cody's faces. They know what this means and what will be happening tomorrow night. They both embrace me and give me devilishly sweet smiles. Dark Daddy Dexter and his cubs will be out on the prowl tomorrow night for one Richard Gearhardt.

**Chapter 2 to come soon.** **Review?**


	2. Demented Daddy Dexter and Story Time

**Hey guys thank you all for the awesome reviews and alerts!! I'm sorry it took so long to update, but I've had one crazy month with all sorts have bad things happen. I'm hoping that next month will be better. Well enjoy and review :D P.S. This one is shorter than the last one because I really liked where it ended**

I help Rita put the kids to bed. I read them an article about one killer who wasn't careful enough and who is now going to be given a happy dose of lethal injection tomorrow morning. As I read the name something hits me. It's Carl, the killer Harry took me to see after my botched first attempt at killing in junior high. If I were capable of genuine human emotions I just might have cried for him. Harry made an example of him to me. He was unfortunate enough to not have a code and went off like a child neglected the privilege of sweets experiencing it the first time at a friend's house. He knows it's wrong, but it so incredible that he goes ahead and does it anyhow.

"Dexter, why did you stop?" asks Cody with his head cocked to the right.

Astor contended, "Yeah. You were just about to get to the good part. How many people did he kill anyway?"

"It says he only killed two, but it's possible there's more." I reply.

"How many people have you killed?" asks Astor.

This is a very awkward question for me to answer. Since killing is a very secret part of my life it's almost comparable to her asking me how many sexual partners have I had. I may be new to this father thing, but I know that is not something you share with your children.

"Um, I don't think that's really important."

"Come on, Dexterrrr," says Astor. "It's not like we're gonna go tell anyone."

"Yeah, come on Dexter! If you don't tell me how many you've killed then I won't let you be my dad anymore." Cody adds.

"I'll tell you another time. And Cody, unfortunately you're stuck with me as a dad because I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, kids it's time to go to sleep." Rita says as she comes into the room. "You have school tomorrow and Dexter has work."

"But mom, Dexter was almost at the good part." Cody whines.

"He can finish tomorrow night." she retorts as she kisses the top of his head and then Astor's.

I say goodnight to both kids and follow Rita out the door. We sit on the couch and turn on the TV. She starts to cry.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask

"Did you mean what you said to Cody?" she asks with tears streaming down her face.

Now I'm concerned. Just how much had she heard. I had thought she already went to bed, note to self: be more careful next time.

"Yes, Rita. Every word of it." I say assuming she meant the me not going anywhere part.

"How did I get so lucky to get this sweet, caring guy?" she ponders as she wraps her arms across my chest.

"You mean how did you get this sweet, caring guy who is sending you to get completely spoiled tomorrow night?"

"I've never had anyone do that for me." she says.

Maybe because all your exes weren't moonlighting as serial killers and teaching you children the trade. I should try to make a game out of it for the kids. Kids like games, but what kind of game? Trying to combine childhood games and murder is quite difficult for someone like me who faked their own childhood. I never got much out of playing those games with the neighborhood kids. There was one I liked though; hangman. That was a totally different reason than the other kids played. I was the kid who won by losing. I would guess the more obscure letters, so that I could kill the poor stick figure on the gallows. For Dexter Morgan if the stick figure still had all his limbs intact, then it wasn't a win it was a loss. I'm sure Astor and Cody like hangman. We'll have to play tomorrow night.

"Hey, you are you still here?" asks Rita as she strokes my arm.

"Only physically." I kid with her

"I think it's time for bed." she says with that devilish look on her face.

I know what this means. It's one of the many things I've learned about Rita. Instead of sleeping we have what Rita calls "hot and steamy sex" then we fall asleep.


End file.
